It seems as though, lately, everything I have been reading, talking about, musing on, listening to, hearing about, has to do with relationships. Friendships, romantic, family, with God, but the one that shifts my paradigm the most, the one that causes more than the usual amount of analytical perusing, is the relationship between the Trinity.
It is said that we are born out of the love They express to Each Other. That the relationship They have, is so perfect, so holy, so enjoyable, that the desire to express it in different dimension was desirable to Them. Huh. If you are anything like me, at this moment, your mind has just developed about forty new neuropaths and the gravity of that one thought just tipped the balances. It also probably (if you REALLY are like me) just decided to come to a screeching halt as you realize the effects and ripples of such a paradigm shift almost seem heretical.
Hang with me here though. Lets start one step at a time. Specifically the Trinity called us into being as in Their image. What does this really mean? What does Their image really look like? Now, not that I know, or presume to know, but what if, just what if, that image was one based completely on love, respect, home, belonging, with the expression being laughter, love, sacrifice of true joy, encouragement and beauty unimaginable?
Could that mean, that when I express those things, when I seek those things... when I believe those things about the Trinity, I am participating in that which created me? How about a step farther, how about if that is what I was created out of, then there is no greater purpose in life, then to know Them, and others in that manner? What if I wasn't created for just works, but for good works? The difference is very fine, but very important here. Jesus was once called Good, and He asked the man why this man had called Jesus Good. Good was associated with value. Good was associated with God. With Other, with Holy. So if I was created in Their image, and They are good, and I was created to do Good works, then could it be that the greatest thing I was created to do was to be in relationship with that Goodness? Their work is to love, to love Each Other, and to love me. If that is the case then, my imitating Them, and acting out of my true self, would be to love Them back. To let them teach me how to be in relationship with others as They are in relationship to each other. Huh.
Okay, so that was one neuropath. Humor me as a travel another one. If I am created in Their image, and love is Their image, then inherently, can I assume that emotions are part of that Trinity? Not too much of a stretch, but how about assuming that if emotions are apart of Them, as they are me, then the same set of emotions that run through me, course through Them just the same. This of course is not to bring Them and Their holiness down to our level, but to open up the relational divorce that has happened.
So that may not be much of a stretch, but lets think of it this way, Scripture says that Jesus is the Word and the Word was with God at the beginning. This would have to mean, that Jesus has always, and will always exist in human form... by choice. That means that there is a portion of the Trinity that has chosen, out of Goodness, to be bound by the human form that is limited and fully human. This would mean that Jesus did not just choose the cross that Friday, He has been choosing it for all of time. It has been purposed for all of time, with full knowledge of the fall and betrayal and pain, and heartbreak and limited vision of the bigger picture at times, all rolling around in His beautiful heart.
If anger and hurt and frustration exist in me, why not Him? Why not Them? If Their greatest desire was to love me, and I have chosen to ignore it, why is a the heart of a Lover not true?
Now, there are some of you that may read this and it may be hard to choke down, and some of you may read this and it may be child's play, easy to understand and grasp.
The reason I say that is, well, if any part of it is true, then the application has to be complete. Think about it. If any of it is true, doesn't it in anyway or shape, or form make your life that much more not your own? I know I walk around with this illusion of control, this illusion of my own power, and it strikes me how selfish that is. This Trinity, this form of perfection chose to bring me into existence purely out Their desire to love me. How small and tiny am I to say that it is more important for me to do Their "work" than to make my first and foremost priority to exist with Them every minute of every day to be working and fighting and longing for Them the way They long for me?
What decision can I make of import that is justifiable to not bend every movement to Their movements. Jesus said that people of the Kingdom and of the Spirit move like the wind. I wonder, is that what it means to be and exist in relationship with Them? To be so immersed in Their love for Each Other and me that when They move, I just automatically move with Them? Even as I write this, the right side of my brain criticizes for the selfishness that it sounds, but where does that come from? Is it selfish to do the one thing I was meant to do? Some would probably say we were born to love others, and that is noble and courageous, but jump the track for just a moment, if we were created in the image of Ones that there purpose and exists remains within a love for Each Other, wouldn't it be most logical to assume that our truest existence and purpose is to join in that? Could that be the sanctification that we all long for so deeply?
And could part of that sanctification be the view shift of life as told by Sara Angella to life told as part of an eternal relationship? When Jesus told the Young Ruler to give everything to the poor and follow Him, he didn't say "Give everything to the poor, then feed them everyday, bring them into your home and work hard to love others." He said "Follow me." His call was to relationship, to existence with Him, to revelation of His love. He knew that the only thing that could save that mans spirit was relationship to Him and Them.
What if every decision I make, is now no longer about me? What if it is fully and completely about chasing after that love? What would life look like for me, for my family, for my friends? I don't know. I don't know if I would become a better person, I don't know if I would love them better. There is that right side of my brain that interrupts with justification for my desire to chase that incredible thought with "Of course it will. That is the whole point!" But my spirit sees the danger in that.
Do I seek the love of God for my own sanctification and such the absolution of my guilt? How selfish is that? How would I feel if my boyfriend, whom I love tremendously, came to me and said "I want to love you so I can learn how to love other people better. Not for who you are, or just because I want to love you, but because if I learn to love you, then maybe I can love my mom better and be a better person." If I as a human that sees dimly now, can be hurt by that, how much more is the perfection of the Perfect Lover hurt by that mentality? How much more human does that make Him?
What if when I prayed, it wasn't to an abstract spirit, but if I pictured His face? What if as I was walking down the street I assumed He was there? What if I lived my life as though I was so completely in relationship to Him that I actually told Him everything that happened in my life? What if I assumed He wanted me to because He loved me that much? And what if in return He told me the thoughts of His heart? What those thoughts were my purpose? What if as I was telling Him how I grieved, He told me how He grieved over something, and that because I love Him and would do anything for Him because I know He would do anything for me, that those things He grieved over, I pained over, and because I am in this dimension for a while, I had the opportunity to do something about it in His name? Isn't the most intimate form of relationship? Trust has to be inherent in that, the trust that whatever He asks is not being done out of desire to seek glory for me, but because I just loved Him that much. That anything that hurt His heart, hurt mine?
See I have a crazy thought, what if emotions aren't just "warning signs" as I have heard them called, but they are part of the language that the Trinity speaks to us through? Yes, they are subject to sin like anything else, but what if, as I let myself fall ever more deeply into this relationship, they become more acute to the Trinity? I mean if we label love as only a set of works, how did the Trinity love itself before we were created? And even more so now, how do They love Each Other now? It can't be about works can it? I don't think this perfect Union would be happy with us doing things out of duty. How many wives love it when their husbands love them out of a sense of duty. "Uh, here you go honey. It's Wednesday, so it's flower day. Should I put them down here?" It's no wonder that most people buck the system of works. Where is the joy in that? But once again, if I am so deeply entrenched in the relationship, the ups and downs, the joys and frustrations that come along with it, because I love Him, and who He is, then feeling His heart, would move me to action because I love what He loves. It becomes a partnership, it becomes something I get to take part in. Something I am privileged to be apart of. A love that is so deep that It shares It's heart with me. That I am privileged enough to have been born out of and into this Love that is so deep, so invasive, that I get to move with it.
But like I said, these are just thoughts right? Who knows....
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