Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A love note I never sent

Rushing wind, undefinable sounds, nameless emotions, speechless. Tentative, curious... hopeful. Frightened, rational, red as fire. The taste of wine, the smell of the ocean, completely blinded. Reckless mingled with sound understanding. The feel of irrationality as a force to be reckoned with. The colliding of souls unprepared. Surprise, frustration, incomplete thoughts...

Terms by which I describe our love. You came in when I wasn't looking. I was flirting, you were living. I was fragile, you paid no attention, and just were. I had no time to protest and it worked. 

You knew before I did, and patiently you waited. You always know before I do, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I use 1,000 words, to express the inexpressible, you use ten, and it all makes sense. 

I run a hundred miles a minute, you don't complain. You saw worth were I had forgotten there was any.

I won't settle, and you won't let me, I say my heart... and you treasure it. 

To the one I love: thank you. I fear tomorrow, treasure today and ponder yesterday. With you I am more me than I thought I was. Your love does what I thought one could never do, it gives me permission to be me, to discover my path, and to live it. 

If something were to happen and I were to lose you for some unbearable reason, I would grieve as though a piece of me had been lost. I would cry and die just a little, knowing that your unique love for me could never be matched. But then, then I would thank God. I would remember with a smile the lessons your love has taught me, and I would sing. I would sing of redemption and seasons of love. 

When I look at you, your character shines through. You remind me of all I should be. All that is good and beautiful and right and lovely and pure. You will never know how much of Jesus I see you in, it's hard to put into words. Even now, I struggle, struggle to explain how such a gracious, compassionate, believing, encouraging love has helped me overcome hurdles that had been there for years. And you do it all with a wink and smile.

I trust you. As much as I love you, I trust you, and that I never thought was possible, and I know, no matter what happens, I will always thank you for that. 

Oh Lord, bless this man. Lord, every desire in his heart bring to Him. I know you recognize the purity in him, Lord, press into him. For every wound he has incurred, give him a double portion, for every time he has been passed over, show him how You have chosen him. For the father lost, be the Father he deserves. Rush in and invade his soul, lay a path before him that He knows is from you. Speak loudly into his heart, wake him with dreams, trouble his heart with you, make him restless for You. Strengthen, encourage, guide, bless, speak peace, refresh, engage, consume him. Thank you Lord for him. He is a blessing from You and I am so privileged to be with him and to call him, in the least, a friend.  

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